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Sunday Night, Shopping
When Jamie texted me, it was after ten and below freezing out, perfect for our needs. I bundled up, checked my bank account and found it pleasantly stocked from the extra hours I’d been picking up. The night was empty, the stars hidden by clouds, the street lights struggling to push back the deep darkness of a winter night. I wanted to be in bed but this was going to be done, even if I couldn’t stop shivering.
Still, I got to his dorm and texted I was waiting, turning the radio on and finding Heart was playing. I couldn’t help but smile when I realized which song it was. My lips moved along with the chorus out of habit: “Try try try to understand, he’s a magic man.” The door opened and Jamie entered, head tilting as he listened.
“Of course they only play the good shit at night.” I turned it up as we got moving on abandoned streets, the guitar kicking in, waking memories of hanging out in the shop as Dad worked. Glancing, I saw him singing along as the vocals came back in: “Come on home girl she sang with a smile…” Whoever the lead singer of Heart was, her voice retained it’s smoothness and perfection through the years as we sang along. Only when the song ended and a commercial came on did I turn the volume down so we could talk.
“You ready?” Jamie was quiet for at least a block before speaking.
“No, not at all.” I reached over and he took my hand, his face pale and worried in the streetlights.
“If there’s too many people, we’ll try again another night.” I had a scrap of paper in my pocket with his measurements and their sizes translated into the brands we’d be seeing tonight. Sure, it was a Wal-Mart but perfect for our needs. Open late, not well monitored so we could browse and it had self checkout. The idea of trying to get Jamie into woman’s clothing store was obviously out of the question if this was too much. Not to mention he’d be very out of place in his current get up. “And I’ll be with you. Hell, I’ll point at stuff and you squeeze my hand if you want it. Deal?” A nod was his answer, followed by squeeze.
“I don’t want to force you to do this…” Which was the truth, even if I wanted to see what he was interested in when faced with a wide variety.
“I-Just…! Fuck!” He spluttered before looking out the window, still holding my hand. “I want to! It shouldn’t be that big of a deal! Why is this so hard?!” There was a desperation to his pleading that hurt to hear. Pulling into our destination, I parked way in the back before undoing my seat belt and pulling him in a hug.
“Don’t worry bout it.” I paused, the song on the radio catching my attention. I cranked it and he looked at me, eyes swimming with tears but slowly smiling as he recognized it. “Well, whatta say?”
“How? Did you plan this?” I shook my head as Jamie dried his eyes, saying in a thick voice that he was ready. I drove closer to the store, all the while Fleetwood Mac was telling everyone to Go Their Own Way.
“Maybe it was meant to be?” I grinned at the idea of God or Fate stepping in for something so stupid, Jamie giving a faint smirk as he stepped out, the song fading out. Maybe a good song and some headphones was all he needed to get through this? Opening my door, the cold swept in, reminding me of why no one else yalova escort was out. Slamming it shut, I looked around as I locked it, finding maybe three cars in total. While it wasn’t past eleven, the night was definitely dead.
Jamie shivered, a billowing white cloud escaping from his mouth as he took my hand while we walked to the well lit generic storefront. The doors slid almost soundlessly open for us and there wasn’t a person in sight as I snagged a basket, stepping into the store proper. It was bright, empty, and vaguely apocalyptic feeling.
“Have you ever paid attention to the lyrics of that song?” I steered us to where we needed to be while puzzling out what he had asked.
“What, Go Your Own Way? No, I just listen when it comes on.” It’s one of those radio perfect songs that isn’t overplayed but is always welcome.
“It’s actually not that happy of a song.” His voice lowered as we walked into the woman’s clothing but he carried on as I figured out where we needed to go. “The band was imploding when it was made and it shows if you listen to the words. The Chain is from the same album.” I led Jamie into an isle covered in panties, with no other soul around. Only then did I digest his words.
“Really? Talk about mood whiplash.” Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, he returned it as I browsed. Instantly, I found a perfect pair that made me bite back hysteria. It was a print with a bunch of hearts with daggers through them, roses with pronounced thorns dripping blood and ‘Rock n’ Roll’ spelled out in a lip stick kiss. I pointed and Jamie, face red, stared in disbelief before breaking out into a huge smile. Grabbing two pairs, I put them in the basket as he tried to contain his laughter. I think he wheezed out ‘why’ at some point but I was moving on, finding a bag of three bikini cut, all black, in his size. He signaled in the agreed manner and I tossed it in.
A quick check revealed we were still alone as Jamie was getting his shit together, lips still twitching. I gave a squeeze, pointing at a purple pair of boyshorts with lace about the waist. I received a confirmation and they went into the basket, then I paused. Next to them was a black pair, trimmed with lace as well and didn’t have much to the back. Upon approval, they were added.
“One more?” His wry grin quickly turned into a flat stare at the pack of panties I picked up, all in girly colors and complete with the little pointless bow on the front. “I don’t care, I’m getting it.”
“We good?” Nearly whispered, I watched a bead of sweat run down his face, eyes trying to fixate on me but flicking to what surrounded us. While this was obviously taking a toll on him, this was a golden opportunity to stock up.
“Just a little longer.” I pecked a kiss on his cheek and he flushed a deeper crimson as I lead him to the next isle, this one dedicated to bras. Sure, none of these were of the best quality but it was variety on the cheap. A 2-for-1 set, one decorated with black lace and the other white with sparkles, simple yet effective. I found a powder blue cloth one, the label said it was a bralette, as I was curious how Jamie would feel about lacking the fit of molded cups.
Leaning closer, I whispered out of the corner of my edirne escort mouth like I was in a shitty shy movie: “Anything else?” He stood still for a few seconds, taking in the overwhelming around of sizes, colors and designs as I stood beside him. For someone who had started wearing this stuff less than a month ago, this must be visual gibberish.
“That one.” He gestured with his head towards a lone front clasping bra, a deeper shape of red usually reserved for lingerie and coming close to matching his blush.
“Coming right up.” With that done, I left that mess behind and found the jeans. Checking the brand first and then sizes, I glanced over and saw Jamie looking at the choices, curiosity pushing out the fear on his face. “Let me know if you see anything you like.” Not bothering to whisper, I picked a simple, basic pair of blue jeans that should fit nice and snug.
“Um?” Looking at the floor and fidgeting, his hand was sweating, Jamie pointed at a fancier pair with some stitched designs on the back pockets and were faded on the thighs. Finding the right size, I bopped him on the head with them before they were tucked away. Not something I would have picked, there were ‘louder’ than I figured Jamie would want, but this was his trip and I was happy that he was taking part.
“Anything else?” Jamie, face still red, nudged to his right and I peered over, curious as to what he was after. There was a end cap with a bunch of nylon stockings and memories clawed up from where they had been sleeping, demanding attention I couldn’t give them right now. Heading over, I ran my finger from the skin tones down, Jamie squeezing my hand when I passed over the black ones. One pair of those got added and then a darker brown. Then a pair of leggings on a whim as we left for the front.
Heading to the self checkout, I saw the attendant talking to a middle aged security guard, both bored and looking at us cause we happened to be there. When what looked and sounded to be a bunch of high school kids walked in, laughing loudly, the guard broke away from the conversation to casually tail them and the attendant sighed, pulling out his phone. Swiping my card, I took the bag and Jamie’s hand, leaving behind the harsh lights for the frigid cold. But we had made it! I exhaled the shaky tension that only now set it, the cloud mingling with the one Jamie produced and drifting away.
“Ohshit.” Jamie stumbled, nearly pulling me down before regaining his footing. Leaning against my car, he was breathing heavily, as if we had run a mile instead of shopping. Looking up as I unlocked the door, he gave a shaky laugh. “Let’s never do that again.” Even in the weak light, I could tell this had taken a great deal of effort for him to do this
“Never say never. Unless it’s to a science elective.” That got a weak smile as we got in, the lights in the dash throwing off their eerie green glow as I started the car. Someone on the radio was singing that life went on, long after the thrill of livin’ had gone as I handed over the bag. “I figure most of this stuff would be safer at my place but grab anything you want now.” Getting us rolling, it was late and class waited in the morning, I split my attention between the road and Jamie going over erzurum escort the spoils of our trip.
“Why these?” Holding up the pack of obviously girly panties, I laughed, giddy from the nervous energy boiling over from what we had just done. And his expression was one of perfect exasperation.
“Just part of the complete experience of owning girl’s clothes.” No retort came back from Jamie and I tried to fill the awkward silence. “Just try ’em on once is all I ask. And I do something for you, fair play n’ all.” Replacing those, he pulled out the black panties and stared. Then he pulled the package open and put them in a hoodie pocket, not saying anything.
“When’s the next time your free?” He jumped at my voice as the lights of the college campus came into view.
“Tuesday night.” A quick check of the crude schedule I carried in my head confirmed I had it off as well. “Sorry for freaking out.”
“You didn’t jump out of the car or eat my face so I’m calling it a win. Just let me know if I’m pushing you too far. Tell me when to stop.” Although he had yet to say ‘no’ so far… A familiar song was playing and I turned it up, not able to place it. “Who is this?”
“Golden Earring.” I blinked, not sure if he was fucking with me.
“‘Golden Earring?’ Really? What kinda fuckin’ band name is that?” Jamie shrugged, the bag in his lap rustling.
“They were popular in the 80’s, I think? Between the drugs and well, the 80’s, band names were weird. Or there’s some story explaining it. At least Metallica has metal in it’s name. And Megadeth is an actual term, even if they did misspell it.” I pulled in front of his dorm, the building mostly dark.
“Wait, Megadeth? That’s a thing?” Jamie still looked exhausted but his voice was sure, hand over the pocket hiding the prize bought tonight.
“Yeah, if the body count is high enough, it’s referred to as ‘mega death’. Now you know.” The ghost of a smile touched his features but Jamie needed a shower and bed, not music trivia. “See you Tuesday?” I leaned over and gave him a kiss, that reminding me to get him some chap stick as his lips pressed to mine.
“Of course. Now get some sleep.” He stepped out into the night and I watched him go. Listening to the familiar song apparently by Golden Earring, I rolled the window down for a minute and let the freezing air wash over me as I drove across the dark campus.
Jamie had done it but man, even I was tired after that! Still, he had considered walls of women’s clothing, even picking some, and that was a win. And yes, I’d get to see him in all that but Jamie had gotten to choose whatever his heart desired. His interest in all this was obvious and only fed my interest in him, making this fucked up feedback loop. Rolling the window up, I was suitably frozen, I made it home, Donna dozing on the couch as I got to my room and set the bag of clothing under my desk. That done, I passed out.
That was last night and while I’ve been tired, I got this typed up during a few classes and over lunch, playing the waiting game. Again. Oh! I texted him this morning, asking if he was tried after our trip. He didn’t reply for a while so I figured he must be in class but eventually Jamie sent a picture back. It was of him with his baggy jeans unbuttoned and pulled down enough to show the black waistband of the panties he had taken with him. I stared at that then send something back to him, anything to get that picture off my screen where someone might see it.
I don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t that. Now the wait until tomorrow night is gonna be even longer! Fuck!
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